Feminist Goes Under Cover At Pro-Life Pregnancy Center; Where's The Video?; UPDATE: Author Responds
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Looks like the feminists are engaging in a little reverse Live Action undercover work, but without the video to back up what they are saying. From Feministe via Salon:
When I found this online, I decided to scam the pregnancy cult for all they were worth. I went in, faking that my pregnancy was accidental. I took a simple out-of-the-box pregnancy test and was immediately taken upstairs for an ultrasound. For the uninitiated – this is the part where they try to show you the baby’s eyes, toes, lungs, heart, etc in order to convince you to keep the baby. I, of course, had no plans to abort, especially as I was at 24 weeks. My ex-husband sat there with me, uncomfortably shifting in his seat as the Christian music blared in the background. That is when and where I found out I was having a boy.
After a suitable time of oo-ing and aw-ing over the ultrasound pictures, I had a “counseling session.” They gauged my belief in God, which was confusing to them to no end. Then, I was ask – do you feel safe in your home environment. I suddenly had that moment, where I knew this was my way out. I answered honestly – “No, it’s not safe. My husband is a fucking psychopath, and I need out.” This apparently was not the usual answer. I would love to tell you that the church group whisk me away to a safe place and got me and my unborn child away from that monster, but alas, no. I was given a lecture of wifely responsibilities and duties. I was told that I obviously was at fault for not letting him lead, and I was somehow aggressively subjugating his masculinity. I felt defeated, but this still seemed like a small escape to my otherwise closed-in and closely monitored existence.
I was given a schedule. I would come back every week for a three-hour session. I would watch videos on childbirth and pregnancy for an hour and a half, then I would be cornered in a small room with two lovely Christian ladies who would then tell me what a horrible person I was for being in such a marriage where I refused to accept my husband’s ruling with an iron fist. “Spare the rod and spoil the child is meant for the wife as well in some more difficult cases,” they said. I was routinely told that if I did not accept Jesus Christ as my savior I would go to hell no matter how I had lived my life or what good deeds I did. For each session, I would get points. The points led to baby items. I was determined to get a pram (a stroller that is more for infants and kind of old fashioned).
I’ll grant the veracity of this account just because minimizing the abuse of women is something I do not take lightly, especially as I have a daughter who turns 5 soon. I would also think that the reaction at this particular clinic is a bad exception and not the rule. The one I am involved with has a great network and offers women in these kinds of situations help. Now as to the part about sharing their faith, of course this woman is going to react negatively to being told she is a sinner and needs to repent. Some video sure would be helpful here from the feminists on this. In the end I do not think it will be as compelling as the ones exposing Planned Parenthood covering up the rape and prostitution of underage girls, and these same feminists defend Planned Parenthood. Hypocrisy anyone?
UPDATE:
The author of the post quoted above has responded in the comment section. I did get sidetracked by the “scam” reference at the start of the quote. And the part about her “honestly” being in an abusive situation did not register.
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3 Responses and Counting...
As the original author of this piece, I would like to clarify a couple points. First, it was not on Salon. This is a personal blog hosted on a Salon subsidary, Open Salon. The affiliation is loose at best.
Second, I truly have nothing against these clinics and am extremely religiously tolerant. What I might have done was not the best show of my character, and I make no excuses for that. It was never my intent to make this piece indicative of the pro-life/pro-choice debate. It was a piece about reaching out for help in an abusive marriage and hitting a wall that was unexpected and quite upsetting.
In my pursuit to finally get some help to leave my abusive marriage, I found many great resources, both faith-based and secular. I appreciated every bit of help I could find.
It is very hard for me to swallow that you truly believe I should have had a hidden camera when going through this experience. I resent the statement that I went “undercover.” The ONLY deception was in my statement to the organization that my pregnancy was “accidental.” That is all.
Thank you,
Darla
Darla,
Thanks for the response. I put an update in the post. I got too focused on your "scam" reference about going to a CPC and missed that your were truly in an abusive relationship, I missed that the abuse part was not part of the scam. I am glad you were able to find help. I want to see any pregnant woman in an abusive situation get the help she needs. So the part about the camera was in response to thinking that the whole visit was an attempt to bust the CPC doing something wrong.
No problem, I understand the confusion. Admittedly, some of the language used, such as "scam" is inflammatory. The first few paragraphs of the original post set the stage for showing this merely as a contrast to my first pregnancy. It would have been more accurate for me to say that while I was searching for resources to help me with my pregnancy online, I found a group that seemed like they provided the pre-natal education and supplies that I would need. However, in order to receive those services, my pregnancy had to be accidental instead of my ex-husband and I intentionally foregoing birth control one night with the intention of becoming pregnant. So, I lied.
Yes, I took issue with some of the religious doctrine, but I was respectful while restating my own beliefs and again asking for help for domestic violence issues. I was at my wit's end and quite angry in the end, which caused me to act out in a way that I otherwise would not have.
Some of these organization provide amazing services and are run by very good people. This is merely an example of one that was not.
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